The Difference Between Then And Now
by Secret Sailor Destiny
Summary: Ever since the death of Sephiroth, Vincent has been tormented with guilt...he has committed the greatest sin. And now Sephiroth is back, and Vincent must repeat the same mistake. But this time, love is on his side.


The Difference Between Now And Then 

By: Secret Sailor Destiny

Author's Notes: This is actually a game fic I posted under one of my aliases…..I didn't get too much of a good response, so I'm redoing and reposting! This is really exciting for me since I haven't done anything in terms of writing in about three odd years. But I'm back. Consider this a warm up!

Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy 7. This statement remains in effect for the remainder of the story. Meaning…I REFUSE to repeat myself!

Feedback would be nice! note the not-so-subtle-hint

Chapter One: Alone and Wondering Why 

The guilt…my sins. I'll never be able to atone. Neither through sleep nor through living will I be able to correct my mistakes of the past. I'll be alone, as I so deserve, and I'll suffer for my wrong doings.

"And yet" Vincent said to the open air, "I don't want to be alone"

These were the thoughts flowing through the sullen mind of the 28 year-old Vincent Valentine as he strolled through the streets of Sector 9 in Midgar...alone. After the final battle in the North Cave, Vincent showed no eagerness to stick with the...'gang.'

"The battle has been won," he had said. "There is no need for me to accompany you anywhere else." Even as he said those words, his heart gave a painful tug towards the only comfort he had known since he lost Lucrecia. Even after many months had passed, he was hesitant to call them friends. Anything and everything he ever held dear was taken from him, some by his own hands. The guilt that came with staying was too much for him to bear, as was the fear of losing it all.

Yuffie took a step forward. "Do you really have to go? There's still a battle to fight." Vincent narrowed his eyes. The rest of the group missed the subtlety of Yuffie's remark, but he knew exactly what she was talking about. The battle within himself. Only a fool would not notice the turmoil within him, and Yuffie, being as young as she was, could easily perceive such emotions. She wasn't a dense as she fooled others into thinking she was.

He couldn't stand it. He couldn't stand her looking at him with such love and understanding in her eyes. "I will be going now."

"But to where?" Tifa asked with real concern.

Vincent blinked. "It doesn't matter. I suppose I'll go back to being alone."

"But you realize that you don't have to be alone anymore, right? You have us." Cloud pointed out. "I know that you think that we don't have a reason to stay together anymore since Sephiroth has been defeated…we've all thought about it. But Vincent, there's more here…there's more to this than just being comrades."

"Damn stupid fool. Let 'em go." Barret growled, but Tifa glared at him so he let out a grunt, but promptly shut up.

"There is no place for me here. I had told you from the beginning that I had my reasons for joining you, and I have my reason for leaving. My presence would only be an unwanted burden on all of you."

"It wouldn't be a burden to me." Yuffie said very quietly.

Vincent stole a glance at the cocky teenager before he left. "I understand your feelings for me, but you are a child, and I must remind you of that." Vincent heard Yuffie gasp, and he was about to leave when a question asked by Cloud stopped him.

"Keep in touch?" Vincent's body gave an involuntary twinge. Cloud almost smiled. "Nobody wants to be alone. I respect your decision to leave, but why not keep up on each other's lives?"

It was so quiet for a moment that Vincent could hear Cloud's nervous breathing. Am I that important to him…? Vincent felt a familiar tug on his heart. He exhaled at nodded very briefly before taking to the sky, using his gravity materia to guide him.

"I guess he really is leaving us for good." Yuffie solemnly remarked.

"No. You're wrong. If I know Vincent, he'll stay in touch. He'll find a way to find us. I would even bet that we'll see each other again in a short time." However, Cloud has his doubts. There was something…something that Vincent hadn't mentioned. It was obviously eating away at his very soul, but not once had he opened up to anyone about it. Long ago, Cloud had deduced that it had something to do with Sephiroth. Everytime Cloud heard the villain's name; he felt an inferno of rage burst from his soul. But everytime Vincent heard his name, one could feel a small portion of him die a little.

"Are you sure?" Cloud had to concentrate for a moment just to remember what she was talking about.

"Of course I am!" Yuffie smiled and immediately perked up to her old self.

"So Cloud? When are you going to hand over all that materia?"

"Good grief..." Cloud answered as he massaged his temples.

Vincent's mind came back to the present, and he frowned. "I should have stayed," he said to himself.

'But even so' his mind responded 'you would have eventually revealed your secret. And then what? They would have thought you a monster! An ugly soul to match the monster on the exterior! You're nothing but a beast!'

Vincent's body gave an involuntary shudder as his thoughts assaulted him. He had kept his word, and sent numerous letters to Cloud. All had been very brief, seeing as how nothing much had been happening in his life. Most of the time he just wrote:

"Still alive. Do not concern yourself with my well-being."

Everytime, Cloud responded with detailed letters of everyday life. It was amazing the way his old comrade could put a twist on attempting to clean the house he and Tifa lived it. Obviously, the tales he told weren't true, but they still brought a bit of a smile on Vincent's face. Through Cloud's letters, he had learned that he and Tifa had gotten married. They didn't want a big fuss so they went off alone and tied the knot. Also, Tifa was pregnant. She was due in a little less than a month.

Vincent burned the letter concerning Tifa's pregnancy. He couldn't bear it.

Just then, Vincent heard a high-pitched scream, shocking him out of his reverie. "Somebody help me!" A female voice hollered.

Not wanting to see the world bleed any further, Vincent ran towards the direction of the screams. What could possibly be going on now? he thought to himself. In a town as tough as Midgar, it wasn't uncommon for someone to be mugged or even beaten on the street for no reason, but this….it seemed different. Something was seriously wrong…

Surrounding the shaking female stood three Behemoths. Vincent immediately used his Sense materia...and smiled in rapid succession. "Only 7,000 hit points, and only 400 magic points. This isn't even going to be fun." he said aloud. But Vincent's speech was shortened by a blood-curdling scream as one of the Behemoths slashed the girl across her chest with its sharp claws.

Vincent quickly grabbed the hilt of his gun, the Death Penalty, and pulled it from his waist. He cocked his weapon and fired three fatal shots. Afterward, a slight smirk crossed his normally stale features as the three beasts crumbled. A small voice in the back of his head told his to approach the stranger, so he obliged.

"Are you all right?" he asked after scanning her wound with his eyes. Doesn't look too serious... he thought. But Vincent was wrong.

"I..." The girl didn't even get to finish her sentence as she crumbled. Using his trained reflexes, Vincent caught her and lifted her into his arms, where he could examine her wound more carefully.

But something else caught his eye, something more interesting than the gash across her chest.

The girl wore a dark blue trench coat, with a shiny black logo on the left side. It read:

Neo Shinra

End Chapter One

Author's Notes: Okay, we'll leave it at that. It's amazing how many changes I made….whoo. All for the better I suppose. I'll get started on remodeling chapter two as soon as I get a good idea on the feedback.

FLAMINGO!

Sailor D.


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